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AUGUST ISSUE

Good Bye Lover: How to Break Up


How you break up with someone depends largely on the type of relationship you have, and the length of the relationship. You will, or should, handle a three year relationship very differently from a three week fling. The first will be harder, uglier and more painful than the second.

If you are just casually seeing someone, and you really do not see it go any further than that, you should be upfront about it. If you met someone else and you don't want to see the person you were casually dating anymore, then breaking it off is relatively simple: you just say you don't see a future for the two of you, and that your feelings have not grown for him or her.

This situation can still be tough if your lover has grown very attached to you. This is always a possibility, but honesty is the best policy in that case. It's important they know what you feel for them; otherwise you are just wasting their time if you are on different relationship-wavelengths with each other.

In a long term relationship a bit more explaining is due when breaking up. Likely the split will not come as a surprise for your lover, because you were likely already having problems before you made the final decision. They may act surprised at first, but probably felt it coming deep down inside. Unless you have reasons for breaking up that stand completely separate from your relationship. In that case you may want to gently talk your future ex into it. Don't beat around the bush and don't hold your decision to yourself when you know 100% for sure what you want to do. It is not fair to your ex, and he will be more hurt if he finds out you were planning this months in advance, leaving him completely in the dark.
In a long term relationship a bit more explaining is due when breaking up. Likely the split will not come as a surprise for your lover, because you were likely already having problems before you made the final decision. They may act surprised at first, but probably felt it coming deep down inside. Unless you have reasons for breaking up that stand completely separate from your relationship. In that case you may want to gently talk your future ex into it. Don't beat around the bush and don't hold your decision to yourself when you know 100% for sure what you want to do. It is not fair to your ex, and he will be more hurt if he finds out you were planning this months in advance, leaving him completely in the dark.
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