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AUGUST ISSUE

Signs They Want You Back.... and Signs They Don't!

Not sure whether your ex wants you back or not? Here are some sure signs!

There are of course the clear signs: your ex tells you to stay away. Some people make the delusional mistake of assuming they are just "playing hard to get". Don't assume this. If someone is telling you to go away, don't insist! You will not be able to force someone to love you, and if by chance they would be playing hard to get they'll stop if you don't respond. Sometimes there are more subtle signs that can tell you whether your ex wants you back:

Your ex keeps calling you. Even if they call just to "check up" on you, if your ex calls (almost) as often as during the relationship, chances are big that they are not letting go just yet. For example, my good friend David had not seen his ex in almost a year. The actual relationship was only about three months long. The ex had moved to Germany, but as she was close to returning home she started calling David regularly and wanted to "catch up".

Is your ex being nicer than usual? Probably trying to win your sympathy back! You reverted to the "chase" stage, where your ex feels they need to win you over. They might do so by being very friendly or performing random acts of kindness.

If your ex is still going "relationship stuff", or treating you as if you are still in a relationship, then you can be fairly sure they want to back. This can include the way they talk to you, flirt and openly discuss intimate details about themselves, you and your relationship.

Is your ex cozying up to your friends or even family? Then they are trying to reach your heart through the people closest to you! It's a smart tactic: if they win over your friends and family, then they instantly create a team of people in their favor who will hopefully change your mind!

If the roles are reversed, and you want your ex back, this is how to know whether they feel the same way:

If your ex never returns your calls, its possible that your ex needs some space. It may not mean that there is no possibility of a reconciliation in the future. However that said, if this continues then you can be fairly sure it isn't happening for the two of you.

If your ex keeps coming back for sex but doesn't stick around for anything else, then you are probably in a sex-with-your-ex trap. If the only interaction between you is physical, then you need to take some serious distance. Think about whether this is what you want. If you genuinely want to give your relationship another try, the thing you should keep for last is sex. When everything else is back on track, that's the right time to get physically intimate. In any way, if you are just having sex, it's not very likely your ex is really interested in reviving anything but that part of the relationship.

For more information see How to STOP a Breakup.

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