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The NEW Commitmentphobes. Why Women Won't Commit
Women used to, and still, complain about men
showing fear of commitment. As soon as we bring up the words "white" and
"dress" in the same sentence men run. However, instead of running towards
it, more and more women are starting to run away from the altar as
well. Why this sudden shift in commitment in women?
The current marriage-ready female has likely
watched close relatives, if not her parents, divorce. We have seen how nasty
custody and money battles get. As a result millions of women are choosing
prenuptials if they even take the plunge. An increasing number of women remain
'single' or 'dating' by choice though, without any thoughts on marriage.
|The reality is, women have never
been as independent as they are today. Women have their own careers, enough
money to hire someone to cut the lawn, and enjoy the detached lifestyle only
men were used up until now. Marriage used to mean financial stability, a
family and a pair of hands when the tap leaks. As women climb the corporate
ladders they buy their own houses, decide to have children outside of a marriage
commitment, and hire a plumber when in need.
Since women started to bring home a paycheck
they could afford to be pickier about the person they marry, and consequently
take their time in finding that person.
Women are perhaps becoming afraid of commitment
because like their male counterparts decades ago, they are afraid of loosing
their freedom. An independent woman with her own career will think twice
before signing away her single life. She is finally making her own money,
owns her own property and manages quite well on her own, so why potentially
mess that up?
| As women have achieved independent
and vibrant lives, it also becomes more difficult to integrate that into
a man's existing lifestyle. Not long ago women would marry and automatically
enter their husband's social group and family. Now we have our own social
and professional lives and thus an additional dimension of complication is
added to the cohabitation and marriage process. After all, if you cannot
agree on your goals and aspirations (he wants to move to Africa in a year,
and you have your career in New York), then the relationship will probably
not go beyond the dating stage. Whereas previously women would pack up and
faithfully follow their husbands around, now the husband sometimes has to
bend for the woman's career or dreams. Millions of couples make it work,
but finding the person who is a right fit for both you as a person, as well
as your independent career dreams can be challenging.
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With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to
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