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Problems: Top Ten Reasons Why Relationships End
1. Sexual Incompatibility
Sex is a huge part of any relationship, even
if you are not having it! Imagine you are determined to wait until you sleep
with someone until you get at least engaged or married. Your new partner
completely disagrees and does not feel strongly enough for you to wait. Well,
that pretty much marks the end of the relationship!
Similarly, sexual differences can create problems
elsewhere in the relationship if they are not addressed. If you are more
conservative than he is, and he feels repressed in return, then this may
cause a serious rift in the relationship. Even perfect relationships can
be ruined if these issues are not addressed. There is no rule that you should
agree on everything, even the bedroom is a place for compromise, but you
should at least address the differences. Your partner should never have to
feel shortchanged for not getting something, or dirty for wanting something
2. Different relationship
He wants to get married, preferably to you and
as fast as possible. You just don't see yourself walking down the aisle for
a very long time. If your partner does not want to wait until you are ready,
the relationship will likely not last. He will feel he is potentially wasting
his time, and you feel pressured. Differences in relationship goals is a
big reason people break up. Usually much sooner than the question of marriage
comes up. All too often we hear a girlfriend tell us she would like to take
the relationship to the next level, but the boyfriend has a serious case
of commitment phobia.
Don't be jealous! Easier said than done, but
another reason relationships fail is because either one or both are overly
jealous. This gives your partner the feeling of being choked and controlled.
He should be allowed to have female friends, like she should be allowed to
have male pals. If you notice other people trying to flirt with your boyfriend
or girlfriend, be happy rather than sad: you got yourself a good catch! Why
would you want your partner to be unattractive to the opposite sex? This
will not help your relationship! And if you feel the only way to keep your
partner is by making sure other people don't want him or her, then
you are already on a slippery slope.
| 4. Boring and
The relationship is stuck in a rut, you do the
same things over and over again without any change. The initial excitement
of the relationship will not stick forever, but then you have to work at
it by mixing it up a bit! Do something out of the ordinary together! Go rock
climbing if you've never done it before. Be spontaneous and work at making
your relationship unpredictable.
5. Not doing what worked in the first
At first you really got to him, instead of asking
yourself why you don't elicit the same effect anymore, ask yourself what
you are doing differently. Are you still dressing up for your dates? Making
suggestive jokes? If those made him laugh before and excited him, then perhaps
reverting to sweat pants and a cranky attitude is not going to do the
Both men and women are good at this one, although
the stereotype is centered mostly on women. Nagging is a funny thing; because
it is meant to get someone to action, but usually only achieves the opposite
effect. So next time that naggy little voice comes up in your head, beat
it down and instead of nagging ask your partner nicely and then let it go.
If they are not going mow the lawn anyways nagging is not going to change
Emotional dependence and clinging is fatal for
a relationship. Everyone needs their space and their own social life. Making
your partner the only social life you have, and clinging on tighter than
you would to a life vest in open sea, is detrimental. Let go, you will get
more out of the relationship by doing so.
|8. Different cultural
Culture can be a big hurdle for relationships.
Our background and culture determine how we relate to each other and can
also determine the way we communicate. Having very different cultures and
attitudes towards relationships, family and society can cause a lot of issues
within the relationship.
9. Different belief systems
If you have no religious affiliations whatsoever,
and he does or visa versa, this can create some friction in a relationship.
Even when we are supportive of our partner's beliefs, it can be hard to
understand their reasoning. In fact, sometimes it can lead to heavy discussions
and insults. A good friend of mine is a Christian, her long term boyfriend
is so secular you could almost call him an Atheist. He would regularly proclaim
that certain beliefs were narrow minded, stupid and old fashioned. She never
asked him to share her beliefs, but she certainly did not invite insult either!
When you do have different beliefs, it is important to respect each other
and support each other in them. Find some common ground, and explain why
you believe or do not believe certain things. Otherwise it is unlikely
the relationship will survive.
10. Social pressure
Do your friends or family disapprove of your
relationship? Even though it is your relationship, and all that should matter
is your happiness, social disapproval can be a big determining factor in
a breakup. Everyone wants harmony in their lives, and if they are constantly
defending their relationship in front of friends and relatives, it get's
tiring and can also cause serious friction between the couple.
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