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AUGUST ISSUE

Why Men Love Bitches

Your best pal just introduced you to his new love, but he just doesn't seem to see what you do: the woman's a total bitch! Why do men love bitches?

Similar reasons women like "bad boys". We like what is not good for us. We also like what we "can't have", at least not fully. Like the bad boy, the bitch is not fully emotionally available. She doesn't really ever open up completely and always seems in perfect control of herself.

Another advantage of the bitch: they are not too nice to their guys. This keeps the guy on his toes and never really ends the "quest" to "get her". It's his male hunting instinct coming out, where he wants to capture her heart. Because she never really does open up fully, he has to keep "hunting" for her heart. The nice girl who goes out of her way to make her guy happy may be appreciated, but she is no longer a challenge. Guys like a challenge, and they love to be challenged by women. If you are an easy catch, then you cut the game short, and really… half the fun is the actual chase!

Although I am conforming to using the word "bitch", it is perhaps not the typical "bitch" men are really attracted to. In this context a bitch is a woman who does not conform to the man's every wish and desire if that is not something she agrees with. She stands up for herself and sets boundaries she doesn't break. Ever been in a relationship where you clearly said you would not do something, but your boyfriend managed to push you over to do it anyways? I'm using "push you over" consciously here, not to suggest you are a pushover, but rather to show you were a pushover in that situation. These are not little issues you don't feel strongly about, like trying a new flavor of ice cream. These are rather bigger issues, like not wanting sex before marriage or not wanting a joined bank account. Believe it or not, your man is not going to love you more if you give in to everything he wants! Men want strong women, hence bitches, who know what they want and will not let anyone push them over.
Women who are bitches do not change themselves for someone else. They will not be like a chameleon and switch color with every new man in their lives. If you feel like you are like a chameleon in your current relationship, absorbing all your boyfriend's color, then it is time to either change or get out. It is not your boyfriend's fault that you have not defined yourself yet. But it is something only you can fix. You will have to find out who you are, and then go from there.

The non-bitch chameleon syndrome is usually tied to insecurity: a subconscious feeling of not being good enough, so you make yourself into a bland substance, ready to absorb any flavor people throw at you.

I've got news for you though - people don't like you to become their mirror images. Be yourself, stand up for yourself, remain respectful of others and you will get your man's lasting admiration and respect in return!

And, for men, get more information about a man holding his own power over women (and his life) at Why Women Love Bastards, by Tigress Luv, the Breakup Guru.

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