AUGUST ISSUE

Women and men get dumped approximately equally often, but both sexes dump for entirely different reasons.

Men tend to dump women for five common reasons:

1. Different values/attitudes

This reason is fairly universal across the sexes and commonly happens in the "getting to know" stage of the relationship. One day your man wakes up and realizes his girlfriend wants to have ten kids, instantly you get visions of crying babies, marriage and weight gain. Many men are very attracted to women who want families, but for some it is just not their cut of tea (yet). Frankly, they are scared of women who obviously have serious commitment on their agenda. Whether they like kids or not, the fact you want them (seemingly) right now is reason enough for the guy to run in the opposite direction.

Women change when they have a boyfriend; once a girl goes head over heals for a guy, she ignores her friends, abandons family and devotes her life to this one guy. Forgive me ladies, of course this stereotype does not apply to everyone, but everyone in the honeymoon phase of the relationship is without a doubt more 'drawn' to their new partner than in any other phase. Some people are truly on the same line with each other; they have the same "spending-time-needs" and as a result neither of the two feels either abandoned or tied down. There are cases though where women (and men!) become so excited about their new love, that it borderlines obsession. The new boyfriend can soon feel emotionally and physically tied down when you want to spend every waking moment with him. He still needs his night out with the guys, without the girlfriend tagging along! Even if he says it's "OK" for you to come along, there are times where you just need to take the initiative and give him some space. Equally, you need your space as well! If you don't have your own "lives" aside from each other, you will wake up one day with nothing to say to each other.

3. Either he hates your family, you hate his

Let's face it, when we date someone, we are also dating the family (in most cases). At some point you have to deal with each other, even if it is only at Christmas and birthday parties. Generally people would like their boy/girlfriends to get along with their closest relatives. If you are openly mean to your boyfriend's parents, or he cannot stand yours, it is likely he will just decide the relationship is not working for him. It's too bad when something that seems so trivial to some can be such a large determining factor, however keep in mind that the way your boyfriend treats his and/or your parents is a good indicator of how he may treat you one day, and visa versa! If you are rude to his father now, you are more likely to be rude to him as well.

We joke about women who cut their hair and gain weight after they get married, because they do not need to attract a new many anymore. Less discussed are our own white lies we tell when we are trying to attract a date. Everyone has told a little white lie at some point; we either lie about our tastes ("oh yes, I hate suits on a guy, you look hot in sweats honey"), or ourselves ("yes, I love to work out every day!"). If you are telling an athlete you love to work out and give him reason to believe you have some common ground (i.e. you get to go out running together), but you are truly a couch potato who would love to like working out, then at some point he will catch on! If you are serious about pursuing someone, you may as well be honest because at some point the truth will come out. Even with little white lies this can make a massive difference. Sure, you can tell a self proclaimed commitmentphobe you never want to get married, but if you see yourself changing him and running him down the aisle you are in for a surprise. You cannot change him, only yourself. Denying yourself your dreams and what you want from a relationship just to be with someone is a bad strategy. You are wasting time in which you could be meeting someone who does have a lot in common with you, instead of being with someone which who you just pretend to have a lot in common. Sometimes opposites attract, so why lie?

5. Nagging and other annoying habits

Sometimes we ladies feel like our significant others are not listening, or not getting our point. In some cases this is actually true, but men are notoriously not-so-great listeners. Problem is, when women keep insisting they are called "naggers". Truth is some of us are! Next time you feel your naggy side come out, take a deep breath and tell yourself to lighten up. If he really isn't listening to you, then nagging will only cause him to tune you out even more. So face the real problem, and attack the reason you feel you should nag to get his attention. Effective communication is as necessary as it is hard, but it helps if you both have similar communication styles or at least openly discuss how you communicate and why.

For more information about the laws of attracting a man, please check out Tigress Luv's How to Become a Man Magnet.

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