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JULY ISSUE

How Do You Like Me Now? Revenge and Your Ex-Lover

Relationships are about give and take. So, peace of mind (if that is what your ex took from you) giving your ex what they deserve and taking revenge may be the best for you. An astounding 75% of people accept that their ex upset them enough to force them into taking revenge. For some, taking revenge on an ex is like reaching the breaking point of pain that the breakup has caused them. The feeling gets enhanced if the ex cheated on them, or left them for someone else. Revenge is not always sweet. It can get obsessive and range from the 'just amusing' to the insane and very inventive. These broken heart avengers can go to any extent in the gambit of crimes of passion just to get even with their victims.

While one lady took revenge from her adulterous ex-husband by plastering the walls of his new love nest with posters shouting "wanted for adultery", the more love-torn lover could not pacify his hunger for revenge until he got his ex-girlfriend shot by a hit-man. There are bitter ex-lovers who use Internet as a way to take their revenge. They put up their ex's telephone numbers or upload private photographs on porn sites. Ok, fine - so you've been wronged and little shenanigans to torture your ex-lover doesn't seem all that bad. What makes it ugly is the compulsive feeling to keep on at it. This simply asserts that broken relationships do hurt bad - but that there are fine lines that should never be crossed, no matter how cross you are.

It is easy to feel sorry for the victim of revenge but it is not necessarily so that he/she is always the wronged lover - the perpetrator may easily be a dumped partner who has also been wronged and severely hurt emotionally by the 'victim'.

Does the revenge have to be an evil act aimed to hurt the one you once loved? Not necessarily. In fact the best way to take revenge from the one who wronged you, is to stay happy and show them apathy. It may sound like a Herculean task when your heart is broken. However, keeping your dignity intact and making your point that you have been wronged is the best way to make your ex realize what they've done to a beautiful relation.

So, let us say, you can do something simple but sweet, such as hiding their most prized possession. Let them look for it high and low and sweat as long as you enjoy it. Then sweetly hand it over.

Or let the gossips work for you. No bad words for your ex but the news that you are seeing someone and how much more happy you are with your new lover than you were ever before. This news is sure to hit them harder than any prank would.

You can psyche out your ex easily with just few words. When you bump into him/her just keep cool and calm and show a hint of sympathy while dropping in a word that you heard something about him/her being unhappy. This surely works, as your ex will be desperate to know as to what gave you the impression and what have you heard. Or better let, act like you don't even know him/her. Be polite and say 'excuse me' and then display that most horrible of all revenge tactics ever - apathy!

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