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JULY ISSUE

Rebound Relationships

A breakup from a serious intimate relationship leaves behind a gnawing sense of loneliness. It can be a very taxing experience accompanied with a mix of feelings of confusion, anxiety, sadness, sleeplessness, and completely feeling off-balance. Self-worth may take a nosedive to a level where one feels that not a single person in the world wants you. All you have is a yearning to belong and yet you may question the desirability of another relationship, feeling emotionally raw and vulnerable. This is the time when rebound relationship develops. These relationships fill the void that is created by missing the affection and sensual gratification that were fulfilled by your previous relationship.

Now, rebound relationship is the one in which new partner and commitment to him/her comes easy after you have gone through a breakup or divorce. These relationships are born out of a person's urge to fill the void created by end of an intimate relation. You want to satisfy your personal worth and affirm, "There is someone who loves me and needs me. I am not to be blamed for that broken relationship and this new relationship proves that." It is this concept of self that makes rebound relationships fragile.

Rebound relationships are "quick fix" or substitute to the broken intimate relation. In such a relation, you might be using someone to heal your wounds and in turn giving new wounds to that person. A rebound is like picking up the pieces after someone's heart is broken. If your new partner has just gone through a break up or divorce, you have to comfort him/ her until they start to like you and not as some painkiller.
You have gone through a broken relationship and now all you want is to fall into someone's arms, someone who can catch you, hold you and tell you the syrupy words you want to hear that you are attractive, desirable and lovable. The past pain and anguish is forgotten under infatuation and lust. However, your new partner may be looking at it in a very different way. Your openness and vulnerability, your willingness to share authentic and spontaneous feelings may make him/ her think that you are his/ her soul mate. Yes it sounds good until you leave the other person once your emotional wounds are healed. If your new partner is only a helpful transitional friend whom you expect only to sail you through difficult time but do not want any long-term commitment, make sure you make it clear to him\her.

Remember, a broken relationship does not mean you are not worthwhile or desirable to anyone. In fact, it is life giving you another opportunity to grow in ways that the broken relationship would not have allowed you to. You must learn from past mistakes, live to make the present beautiful and future perfect. You can reconnect to spiritual life, take up a new hobby or utilize the personal space to bond with friends and loved ones. Instead of getting into makeshift relationships like rebounds, it is better to lay more concrete foundation for a future wherein you may find the one who will love you forever.
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