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JULY ISSUE

Top Twenty Relationship Issues: Which Ones Does Your Relationship Have?

Every beautiful relationship has bad patches that either makes it stronger if dealt properly or leave a sour taste if allowed to grow beyond control. Here are some general problems that may come in the course of a loving relation.

1. Incompatibility: You love each other and that is what brought you together. However, somewhere down the lane you may realize that you have nothing in common. You both do not think alike on most of the issues. This incompatibility gnaws on a relationship like a mite.

2. Communication gap: Lack of communication can create an unfathomable gap between the lovers and ultimately foster relationship-killing misunderstandings.

3. Staleness: If there is nothing about the relationship that excites the partners, they end up getting bogged down with feelings of monotony. When this happens not too much can stop turning the monotonous decay into infidelity or a breakup.

4. Cheating: Cheating spouses and lovers can do more harm to the bond of love than anything else. Infidelity is one of the most destructive relationship problems.

5. Lack of commitment: Neither of you should take your relationship for granted. So, if either of you lacks in commitment towards it, you are straining the bond. Additionally, you should not only be committed to each other, but you should both be equally committed to the relationship itself. Treat your relationship as if it were an entity all in itself, and be committed to that entity.

6. Bad sex: Sex is a vital part of a love relationship. Once the partners are unable to give each other sexual satisfaction, the relationship starts souring. Also, staleness and predictability in sex may take the pleasure away from it.

7. High expectations: Statements like "If you loved me you would....." and unacknowledged and unfulfilled expectations can take a toll in love relationships. Too many and too tall expectations can push your relationship to an end. Accept your partner as is, limitations and all, because they only know how to be themselves.

8. Taking for granted: The relationship becomes an unwanted burden when either of the partners starts taking each other for granted. Being compatible does not mean getting into each other's comfort zone, and it also doesn't mean assuming that you are welcomed there.

9. No trust: Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship. Once it is gone, the relationship won't take too long to follow it right out the door.

10. Complaining about your relationship to others: When partners trust others more than each other and then involve those others in their relationship problems, the situation only gets worsened rather than getting alleviated.

11. Long distance: Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but after too long an absence 'out of sight out of mind' becomes more the motto. This is the case in most long distance relationships.

12. Growing out of the relationship: Many young people who fall in love in their early twenties or teens grow past the relationship once they get on with their careers or other aspects of their adult life. But this is not just particular of young romances, as even older relationships sometimes have the misfortune of one or both partners growing in a different direction than the one they were in at the start of the relationship.

13. Too demanding partner: A too demanding partner, who is dominating and also demeaning, often alienates the other partner. Partnership shouldn't mean ownership.

14. Abuse: Physical; emotional; mental; psychological; or verbal abuse is like a death sentence to love, respect, and admiration.

15. No space: Being too possessive or expecting your partner to be around 24/7 is a sure way to add problems to your relationship. Insecurity or trust issues often leads to excessive jealousy and 'policing' the other's every move. Excessive jealousy makes one look 'ugly'. Plain and simple.

16. False Fantasy: Life is not a bed of roses and neither is it like mushy romance novels. False fantasy can leave you frustrated and your relationship soured.

17. Personal unhappiness: If you are determined to torment yourself into oblivion, no good relationship can make you happy or stay with you for too long. You cannot expect another to 'fix' you.

18. No time for each other: Workaholics or self-obsessed people do not have healthy loving relationships.

19. Male/Female ego: Guys who forget to bury their chauvinism and male ego call for a difficult love life. Likewise, women who expect a knight to come and rescue them are usually in for a rude awakening. Hello?

20. Dominating Partner: A partner who likes to stand tall over the other and dictate all the terms can never be a reason for an everlasting bond of love. Relationships shouldn't be power struggles, but rather equal partnerships full of respect and just treatment.

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