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JULY ISSUE
Why Relationships End: The Top Ten
Reasons Why People Say 'Good-bye'!
People say, "it takes a lot to build
good and healthy relationships" and they are right! And there are definitely
some common characteristics that are sure giveaway signs of a relationship
turning sour. Perhaps if you see any of these warning signs early enough
you may be able to prevent your relationship from coming to an unhappy end.
Here are the top ten reasons why people say
'Good-bye':
Not accepting facts
Many people are in denial and hide from the
unhappy-but ugly-reality of their partners, or their relationships. There
may be things in your relationship that worry you and still you continue
to portray it as the perfect relationship, less to others and more to yourself.
You may cover up for your partner's shortcomings, or undesirable behaviors,
and subconsciously avoid the things should concern you. This surely will
lead your relationship-and your sanity-to an end.
Burnout
Both the partners may reach some sort of an
emotional and physical burnout where they may not feel the same passion for
each other which they felt earlier in the relationship. Remember, there are
crests and troughs, ebbs and tides, in every relation. There may be times
when one or both the partners feel disillusioned with the relationship. At
such a time if you let the communication gap develop further, your relationship
may end.
Compatibility
If you both are not able to complete each other's
role, compatibility can become a big issue in undermining your relationship.
Lack of compatibility is where conflicts may begin arising.
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Lack of commitment
Being in love, having a relationship is different
from being committed. If you and your mate are drifting away, ask yourself
a question, "Are you two committed to each other and to the relationship?"
Remember, in every relationship there should be five entities. The man; the
woman; the couple; the relationship; and God.
No more enthusiasm
At times-due to circumstances and individual
reasons-the spark and spice of the relationship may wither away more quickly
than you may be aware of. Once the spontaneity, fun, and adventure in the
relationship take a back seat, the cordiality suffers.
No forgiveness
No one is perfect-not even you. If either of
you is unwilling or unable to forgive, you are pretty much heading for an
unhealthy relationship. Do not let your relation foster negative feelings
of anger, spite, disgust and resentment. This is a must factor. There is
absolutely no successful relationship without 100% acceptance of your partner,
both their good and their bad.
Hurting each
other
Harmful thoughts, words, and actions such as
abusing, beating, or coerced or forced sex will only lead to a soured
relationship. When our partners hurt us we end up with a lack of respect
for them, as well as resentments and a low in our attraction to them.
Indulgence
Giving in to unhealthy temptations and desires
instills unhealthy relationships. Adultery, addictions, or any other thing
that is not desirable by your partner to an extent that he/ she feels strongly
against it, can all result in a breakup.
No limits
Always saying 'Yes' and giving in to partner's
desires is not always a good idea. It only leaves you frustrated. Being selfless
is different from being your partner's pet. Codependency is also a major
factor in relationship failure or unhappiness.
Bad communication
It is good communication that usually lays a
good relationship. However, it is poor communication that ends one. If both
of you do not communicate with each other-or fail to communicate properly-it
will foster more sour feelings. Remember to always speak without being offensive,
and to listen without being defensive.
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