Recently I went through a devastating breakup. To make matters worse it now seems like all of my friends (which are my ex's friends also) are avoiding me - but not avoiding my ex. What can I do? I don't want to lose them, too!

Ah, and just when you need them the most :(

There could be many reasons why your friends are avoiding you, if that truly is the case. Of course, the truth could be that it is just in your imagination. This is a very common belief in the early stages of a breakup, and only natural. If we feel rejected by one who we admire greatly, then surely we must be worthy of rejection by all! Or so we think. Maybe you are 'avoiding' them in a sense, too - possibly waiting for them to make the first move (especially if your ex is keeping in contact with them). However, they may take your absenteeism in the wrong way, falsely believing that you want your 'space' and 'alone time' and they are just respecting what they believe are your wishes.

Also, another possibility may be that they know that you are hurting and they don't know what to say, or how to act around you. Or possibly they feel a certain loyalty to both you and your ex, and if you talk about how 'wronged' you were by your ex then they may feel uncomfortable to be around you. You could be dwelling and moaning too much about your breakup, or your ex, and this makes it difficult for your friends to be in your company.

Unfortunately, the case may be that they truly are snubbing you. Perhaps they were friends with your ex first and feel more loyalty to your ex than to you. Perhaps, too, your ex is a 'less than nice person' and is spreading vicious gossip or rumors about you - to save their own face and involvement in the breakup.

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