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Living Single in a Couples
World: "How to make the transition from two to one. Adjusting to single hood
after the breakdown of a long term relationship."
You are on your own again and feeling quite
confused. For so long you have been geared to thinking about the two of you
that you feel strangely incomplete and feel that something is missing from
your life. Now you have to make all the decisions and start thinking for
yourself. You no longer have to think about anybody but yourself. All the
satisfaction of caring for someone has vanished leaving a strangely empty
feeling in your heart.
Now it is time to put the past behind you and
move on. It is time to venture out on your own and realize that you are alone
but life can still goes on. Try to stay alive socially. Try to have parties
with your friends and invite friends and coworkers over for dinner or couples
of drinks or just go out for a dinner or social occasion with them. If you
have any family now is the time to keep close bonds with them, as they will
be your support in your present time of need.
| Do not shut yourself away and
get wrapped up in your loneliness. This is very important for your well-being.
If you allow yourself to get completely wrapped up in the past you cannot
move on and adapt. At first it will be hard but gradually you will be able
to change and come out socially on your own.
Of course your circle of friends might change
now that you are no longer a couple but that does not mean to say that your
social life has come to a grinding halt. It is just a question of realizing
that even if you are on your own you can still make friends and have a social
life. Decide to make a positive effort to get out and then act on it. Do
not procrastinate, because postponement is your worst enemy and the more
you put it off the more difficult it will be to do.
| Make a positive effort to go out
and even join some clubs where you can enjoy meeting people and learning
about new hobbies and activities. Take some evening classes after work and
meet new friends who share common interests with you. Do not shut yourself
away and get wrapped up in your loneliness. If you have a church you can
get involved here with bible study classes and social gatherings.
Do not rush into a date because you are lonely
and on a rebound. Give yourself time to relax and enjoy your newfound freedom.
Try some online dating services just to meet some friends and chat to others
who may be in the same situation. These are fairly free and easy places and
do not require any commitments. You can just chat casually until you are
ready to enter the dating game again. It is important to remember you are
not the only person in this position.
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