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I need to break up but can't do it

I am in an abusive relationship but am unable to free myself. Each time I try to break up with my boyfriend he pleads with me that he will never hurt me again and I am drawn back into the relationship. I want to believe him so badly but know deep down that he will not be able to help himself and will start the same behavior again.

I have tried several times just to stay away from him but he always seems to find me and get me back. It doesn't matter where I go he will just show up and insist on me returning to him. He is just like a guided missile and I am the target.

I am now starting to get frightened, as he has started to threaten me when I try to leave him. He is starting to get into my head and I am beginning to believe I can never escape from him. I feel trapped like a bird in a cage just flapping my wings with no place to go. Sometimes I just feel like ending it all but I don't even have the courage for that.

If I go to find comfort with friends or family and they start to support me, he shows up there and starts threatening them. I am afraid he will do something to them and so cave into his demands and return to him. I know I am just being weak and spineless giving into his demands all the time but I really am afraid he will hurt someone and it will be all my fault.

I am frightened and feel trapped with nowhere to go. I want to escape from this cycle of fear and abuse but I feel there is no place to go. Please help me before something happens to me, or worse still to one of my friends or someone in my family. I feel isolated and alone and am scared to go to anyone in case he finds out and hurts him or her.

The real problem is that despite everything I still love him. I feel so guilty because I feel that somehow it is my fault he is like this and if my love were stronger he would not need to behave like this. Please help

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