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OCTOBER ISSUE

Angry at betrayal - how do I handle it

I met a man through an online dating service and we found we had a lot of things in common. We also discovered that we lived close to each other and after a year even got a house together. Everything was going well and we finally decided to get engaged. I was thrilled, it was a dream come true for me. I went on the Internet to look for wedding services and could hardly control myself.

But then one day I came home early from work and caught him with her. He was actually entertaining a girl in our house without even saying a word to me. We were engaged and he was having an affair right there in our dream house. You can imagine how shocked and hurt I was! How could he do this to me?

I confronted him as the girl quietly scuttled out of the house. At first he denied it of course trying to pass her of as a female relative. Now how stupid did he think I was, when I had actually met his family and knew he just didn't have any "female relatives" especially dressed like that! As he started to confess I discovered this was not her first visit. He had found her on the same dating site he found me and had been having an affair with her for 3 months! Needless to say we broke up in a hurry. It was just more than I could bear.

Now I am so angry and bitter it is affecting my whole life and I don't know how to handle it. Everyday I keep seeing things that remind me of all the good times we had together and that terrible day keeps on haunting me. I just can't seem to put it behind me and get on with my life. I spend hours just sitting in my new apartment just crying bitter tears. I even have fantasies about how to ruin his life forever.

I know I have to move on but anger and bitterness just will not go away. On top of this I mistrust any man I come in contact with and just cannot let them come near me. It has been 6 months but that terrible day seems like yesterday. I know that I need some help with this but I don't know where to go. If you have any suggestions please, please help me.

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